apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
