This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
