i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
