So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
