i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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