You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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