When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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