I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
