just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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