god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
