Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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