2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
