Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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