is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
