McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
