Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
