I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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