There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
