She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
