this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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