I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
