he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize