clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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