Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
