Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
