Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
