carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
