i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
