I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
