i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize