The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
