Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
