there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
