What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
