Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
