More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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