Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
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