I forgot how hot balto sounded
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
