U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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