I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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