mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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