her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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