I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
