Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
