Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
