Don't you send me to vm
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I lost the right to judge tonight
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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