During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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