out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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