where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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