She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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