We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
