i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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