I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
