Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
