I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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