I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
4 words: hood of his car
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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