apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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