she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
