i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
ok first of all what the fuck
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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