I got chris browned last night
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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