I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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