she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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