guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
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