I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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