Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
