Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
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