let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
