So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize