I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
