I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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