I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
