He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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