She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Vodka?
Forever.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize