And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
