Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
