he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
