I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
