I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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