Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Randomize
